Managing Grief and Disappointment after Voting

Well, another high-stakes voting season is [mostly] behind us, and folks have gone back to their respective corners to recoup for the next round. Most of us are lost in the back and forth about whether or not the 2018 midterms actually qualify as a “blue wave” or another “year of the woman,” and instead are asking ourselves… what the fuck happened? Are we supposed to be happy about Democrats taking over the house, disappointed that they lost more seats in the Senate, pissed that Nancy Pelosi will likely be leading the House Dem Caucus again, or should we still be shrouded in mourning over the [ongoing] circus at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?

As an expert in American Politics, it is my professional opinion, that I have absolutely no idea [and any expert who tells you that they do know, is also selling a great flying pig on aisle 5].

What I do know is that emotions are still running high, and many of us on the left, while celebrating a few wins, are also nursing some disappointments. Beto O’Rourke, Andrew Gillum, and Stacey Abrams in particular, seemed to marshal the enthusiasm of a number of [some] young people, and voters of color, across the country. As a result, it is important to talk about what to do when you experience grief or disappointment after voting.

• It is critical to not judge yourself (or others) for whatever it is that you are feeling. Yes the Texas, Florida, and Georgia elections were a long shot. But the nature of marshaling get out the vote enthusiasm in a attempt to convert red states blue, requires that voters develop real, hope that a win is possible. Without hope, none of those elections would’ve been as close as they were. But the darker side of hope when it does not result in victory, can be disappointment or even grief. It is important to know that not only are those feelings OK, they are totally normal. So, step one: let yourself feel whatever you need to feel for the next week or so.

• Recognize that for some folks, voting is not going to feel like a meaningful or necessary form of political engagement. Period. For folks from oppressed communities, where voter suppression has been systemic, and centuries long, it is a valid perspective to believe that it is not an equitable or effective means of political mobilization. It is also a valid perspective to believe that voting is a necessary means of harm reduction. But hear me when I say: neither of these perspectives are somehow more right or wrong than the other.

• Voting can be a valuable act even if you don’t win. Gillum, Abrams, and O’Rourke candidacies’ helped build a substantial Democratic infrastructure throughout their states’ that didn’t exist prior to their runs’. Many Democrat’s down the ticket were able to win because of the GOTV efforts of those three.

Emotions and voting are a difficult thing. Most want to approach the political as though it is a purely empirical enterprise and it is anything but. Without a politics that encompasses compassion and understanding, we can’t hope to build a substantial coalition that will regularly turn up to the polls. So as we rev up for the 2020 election season, ask yourself this, will this call out encourage the person I’m getting ready to tear apart? Or would another more emotion based approach be more effective?

peace.

a

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